One-Sided Quarrels

She told me as I sat patiently,
That there are certain people...
Those types that fit in with trash.
The ones that can't see themselves for better.

I had wrought myself into pleasure,
With a friend she cared about.
And she told me of all these opinions,
Relating to our same ethnicity.

Did I fall in love with her for a moment?
Was it wrong of me to feel affection from her disgust?
How come I felt pathetic to hear it all?
The strangeness of being alienated of any respect from her?

Either way it has been so many years since back then,
The sunlight in a room with people who had bonds together.
Somehow, somewhere I do wonder what they are all up to now.
Because inside of my heart I think I'm searching for who I still am.

I don't remember her name at all,
Even the girl from the night before.
For a human being I must be rather wretched.
Since even now I'm relishing the meaningless memory.

The closest I even had with any of them,
Was just a single night and morning after.
Maybe I was in over my head spilled with alcohol.
Or could I have just been so lonely and filled with the spring of youth.

Lately I tell myself in reassurance,
If we were to meet again;
I would remain silent with a blank face.
Until I could see her angst expression again.